Sans Katana - December 23rd, 2004

Subject:	The 13 Lads of Yule - to hell with Santa Claus.
Time:	11:19 am
Current Mood:	Christmas-y

While we Icelanders are familiar with the legend of Saint Nicholas and the jolly, Coca-Cola produced figure which has become associated with this festive season, we have our own band of not-so-merry Yuletide regulars. These are the 13 Yuletide Lads, Jólasveinar, a group of brothers each more thieving, perverse and twisted than the next. According to Icelandic legend they are the sons of trolls and in the olden days they used to come down from the mountains and terrorize the countryside for 13 days in a row.

First to arrive, on the 12th of December was Stekkjastaur (Stiff Legs). This creepy fellow used to sneak into the sheep-pen and suckle the sheep. How's that for a merry Christmas?

The next to arrive, on the 13th of December, was Giljagaur (Canyon Dude). He had a thing for fresh milk and used to slurp the foam from the tops of fresh pails of milk.

On the 14th of December, Stúfur (Shorty) arrived. Short in stature but big in larceny, this pint-sized Yule-Lad used to scrape the leftovers from the pans in the kitchen.

The next three offenders all share a common fetish. Arriving on the 15th,16th and 17th of December respectively, Þvörusleikir (Ladle Licker), Pottasleikir (Pot Licker) and Askasleikir (Plate Licker) would storm the kitchens and lick the pots, plates and utensils clean.

On the 18th of December the most overtly violent of these guys appeared, Hurðaskellir (Door Slammer). He would run through the farmhouses at night and slam the doors loudly. The guy had issues.

The 19th of December heralded the arrival of Skyrgámur (Skyr-Gobbler). He had a particular affinity for skyr (an Icelandic dairy product, similar to yoghurt) and would stop at nothing to get his fix.

Bjúgnakrækir (Sausage Grabber) arrived on the 20th of December. His love was sausages and he would go to great lengths to liberate the Icelandic folk of their sausages at Christmastime.

The most disturbing of the brothers arrived on December 21st. Gluggagægir (Window Peeper) wasn't interested in the consumables which his brothers found so dear. He liked to watch. At night he would press his face against the window and get his kicks watching the inhabitants of the farmhouses.

Gáttaþefur (Pastry Sniffer) came on the 22nd of December. He had an exceptionally long nose and loved the smell of cakes and newly made bread. Occasionally he would steal a pastry or two.

Ketkrókur (Meat Hooker) appeared on the 23rd of December. He loved meat of every kind but was especially fond of Hangikjöt (an Icelandic delicacy, a leg of lamb, hung up and dried) and would devise ingenious ways of stealing the farmers' meat.

The last brother to arrive was Kertasníkir (Candle Pincher). Also the most pathetic of the bunch, Kertasníkir was enraptured with the light of candles and on Christmas Eve he would steal as many candles as he could.

So these are the (not so) merry lads, wishing you a thieving, perving, violent and happy Christmas.

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December 23rd, 2004

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